I’m back from my double vacation! And what luck! I was sick the entire time. This may be the only time I ever say this, but I’m so glad my vacation is over. I was miserable. Shall we go on with the story? Yes? Ok then.

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Eventually I turned sixteen. Scotty and I were finally able to date without his mom tagging along. By this point, I had become a horrible, clingy girlfriend. I was needy and emotional. I cried a lot. I accused Scotty of wanting to break up with me. I was full of drama.

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Scotty and me at my prom

 

I ended up going to a dance with another guy. I started liking him. I started getting caught up in the idea of having a boyfriend at school. Scotty and I had never gone to school together. My friends didn’t know Scotty. To them he was just some older guy who prevented me from having a true social life. When Scotty found out, he was devastated, and when I was strong enough, I told the other guy that I couldn’t see him anymore because even though I liked him, I was in love with someone else.

 

At age 19, young men are encouraged to serve a mission for the LDS Church. There was never a question of whether Scotty would go or not. He knew it was the right thing to do, and I knew it was the right thing to do, so the entire time we were dating, there was a heavy cloud hanging over us. We knew that we only had a little bit of time together before we’d be torn apart by the very religion that brought us together.

 

To serve a mission, one must live by strict standards. No drinking, no lying, no stealing, and most certainly no fornicating (to name a few). After going through several interviews with the Bishop and Stake President, Scotty was deemed worthy, and he turned in paper work to go on a mission. Scotty was called to serve in Columbia, South Carolina.

 

The week before I started my junior year, Scotty left, and I didn’t see him again for two years. Missionaries live by strict rules. Scotty was only allowed to call home twice a year, Mothers’ Day and Christmas, and the only regular communication we could have was through written letters.

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At the airport the day Scotty left. I hadn’t seen him for three weeks because he’d been in the Missionary Training Center. We weren’t allowed to hug or kiss at the airport because he was already “on his mission.” See that couple in the background hugging? Shame on them! Shame, indeed!

 

I spent those two years checking the mailbox frantically for weekly letters. I dated other guys, but none very seriously. Everyone knew I had a boyfriend on a mission, so I was mostly left alone. I cried a lot. I was very lonely.

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How I kept myself busy while Scotty was gone (building snow missionaries)

 

 

After I graduated high school, I decided to start living a little so I spent the summer running wild (or at least as wild as a Mormon girl can run and still take the sacrament on Sunday). As Scotty’s release date drew nearer, I started fearing my future. Scotty and I had been very serious before he left. We’d discussed marriage. We had a life plan together. I was worried that we’d been wrong to do so. I feared that we’d end up married because it would be too hard to recognize that we weren’t right for each other. I didn’t want to end up married to Scotty out on convenience. I was terrified of what was to come.

 

Scotty came home on my second day of college. I went to the airport to greet him with his family. As I sat in the chair waiting for his plane to arrive, I contemplated our relationship and tried to figure out how I was going to break up with him.